Someone I have been working with recently made a casual comment about having been up since 5:30 with a restless mind. I wanted to commiserate. I wanted to tell him how bad that sucks, because I have been there more times than I can count. So many of us know that feeling of waking up, and before our eyes are even open, our minds are taking off. Ticking through the list. Worrying. Trying to solve a problem. Wondering how to get through the day in one piece. Before the sun is up, before the light of day can wrap around anything, our minds are wrapped around everything.
This all-too familiar feeling has plagued me often. But in recent years, I have begun to think about it a little differently. For me, this feeling is nothing more than an indication that I’ve got skin in the game somewhere. Maybe I am working on a project. Maybe I am nervous about something big and exciting coming up. Maybe I get to love someone so much that the first thing I think about when I wake up is how worried I am for them. Far too often we label feelings like nervousness, sadness, loss, or worry as “bad”. But maybe they mean that we are in a greater flow. Growing. Challenging. Loving. Letting go. Evolving.
I have come to embrace those early mornings now. I get up, before anyone else is up, have a hot steaming cup of coffee and feel those feels. I may journal. I may pray. I may make some lists or get a game plan. For as is true of so many things, it all depends on how we see it. How we react. What lens we attach…..That. And getting to bed earlier…..
Life is a gift. It all depends on how we see it. Love is all that matters.